Saturday, May 1, 2004

Moreover, we had human parents to discipline us, and we respected them. Should we not be even more willing to be subject to the Father of spirits and live?
(Hebrews 12.9 NRSV)

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You may have read in the newspapers sometime back about one town that has tried to insure that parents are responsible for teaching their children right from wrong. The city council of Dermott, Arkansas has passed some new ordinances regarding youths. Parents of minors can be placed in a public stockade for failing to restrain their children's illegal activities. If the parents simply cannot control their children, they can sign papers to that effect, and the city will have the juvenile courts rule on what to do with those children. The parents will no longer be held responsible for the actions of their kids, but the parents must pay $100 to the city or do 20 hours of community service. Further, the parents must display a sign in their window and a bumper sticker on their car saying, "My children are not my responsibility. They are yours."

As unusual as this city's approach is, there is something very Biblical in the idea. Scripture says that parents are to teach their children right and wrong and to nurture them in the way of the Lord. The idea that children just randomly turn out good or bad and that they should be free to determine their own moral course without outside influence is a relatively new (and foolish) idea. No parent can control everything a child does, but every parent does have a responsibility before God for how his or her children are raised.

Actually, most children appreciate knowing where the boundaries of behavior lie. In fact, as Dr. Joyce Brothers notes, strictness in parenting may be coming back into style. A recent study of almost 2,000 fifth and sixth graders--some of whom had been reared by strict parents, others by permissive ones--produced some surprising results. The children who had been strictly disciplined possessed high self-esteem and were high achievers, socially and academically. What these children said revealed that they were actually happier than the undisciplined children. They loved the adults who made and enforced the rules they lived by.

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Dear God, help me and my community of faith raise our children to be examples of Christ's love and dedication. Amen.

Ron Newhouse

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